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Parent Tip of the Week: Conflict between Children

All kids get into arguments or fights with their peers. Most of the time, fights between children occur because they have not yet learned how to manage their anger and deal with others. However, when fights happen, it is you who are faced with the job of breaking it up and resolving the situation in a proper, fair manner. Read on and learn what you can to do when your children are angry and in conflict with others.

Here are eight simple tips that you can try when your children are fighting:

  1. Help the children to calm down. Softly talk to your children and help them relax.

  2. Separate the children. Let your children cool off without the other one(s) around. Sending them to different rooms can work.

  3. Help the children to think about why they are angry. Help your children understand what about the situation made them upset and angry. Try to find out if there are any specific reasons that caused the situation.

  4. Help each child think about what the other child is feeling. Allow one child to put him- or herself in the other’s shoes.

  5. Tell the children how you feel about the situation. Your child looks up to you, and your opinion is very important.

  6. Help the children choose the best solution for the situation. Provide your children with a few good ways to resolve the conflict.

  7. Praise the children when they resolve a conflict without violence. Hugs, kisses or a simple “I am proud of you” will make a huge difference in your child’s eyes.

  8. Tell children it’s okay to be angry, but not okay to hurt others. Teach your children that violence is never the answer.



Have a tip you want to share? E-mail Dr. Barbara Bernstein at Bernberb@mhawestchester.org with your Parent Tip of the Week!


This material has been adapted by MHA from materials of the ACT (Adults and Children Together against Violence) program developed by the American Psychological Association (APA), a scientific and professional organization that represents psychology in the United States.

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